Month: March 2023

Is Anyone Listening?

/ erikamorck / 2 Comments

“Knowing how to listen is an immense grace, it is a gift which we need to ask for and then make every effort to practice.”  – Pope Francis

As I was out on my run a few mornings ago, I found myself listening. Not to the latest news, my favorite podcast, or even the melodies of Telemann or Vivaldi (truly some of the best music to run to – try it!). No, I found myself listening to the chorus of chickadees and sparrows breaking the silence of a snow blanketed earth with their morning songs. In that moment, I felt the icy grip of this long, dark winter loosen its bonds on my soul. I wondered if they knew I was listening to their melodies. I wondered if they could ever know what a gift they had given me in the act of listening and being listened to.

I wondered if they were listening to the conversation I was having with God. I know that God always hears my prayers, but at times I don’t always feel like God is listening to me God’s voice is not always something we can or want to hear. His voice reveals to us our deepest and sometimes painful truths about who we are – but we also hear that we are His. As the sun peeked over the mountain top and warmed the frosted valley and my frostbit face, I had a spiritual awakening. I had been heard. The feeling of being listened to, of being heard, of being accepted and not judged for my thoughts and insecurities did more for me than any vain attempt to fill the silence with bluster and avoid the uncomfortable intimacy of deep conversation with God. If only all conversations could be so fruitful.

At the heart of all relationships is the act of listening.  Or at least it used to be. Now we have platforms to post to; platforms through which we can form and shape our persona and control how we want others to see us and hear us. As a Communications major in college, I learned that the medium was the message. Now the message is created precisely for the medium – and it would seem we are all very busy messaging who we are to the world. It doesn’t always work out how we envisioned though. Through our careful curation of our platform persona, much of who we are is lost. No matter how in touch we are with ourselves or how strong our claim of identity is, regardless of the independence we profess, who we are is deeply influenced by those we interact with. Our interactions with others provide us with the sense of who we are. Choose your interactions wisely and choose to interact in person not on a platform. 

I am reminded of a deep conversation I recently had with a good friend, one filled with honesty and pain, hope and laughter. Conversation – the act of talking and listening, speaking and being heard – is one of the most valuable gifts we can give each other. The transfer of ideas from one mind to another in a trusting dance of giving, receiving, and understanding immeasurably enriches our lives.

To be authentically heard by someone is an incredible gift, one that can heal wounds left by this imperfect world and bring us into communion with one another. To listen to someone is to tap into a deeper essence of their being and share a oneness that precludes background, religion, culture, and class. For in that moment all you are doing is receiving the essence of who they are, welcoming without judgement, the reality of their life. The act of listening leads to new understanding. It allows us to connect to each other at the heart level and discover common ground and new possibilities. It may even reveal opportunities for our own growth and inner healing.

Indeed, the act of listening has incredible power. Listening can be a powerful force for good when done well but a powerful force for evil to take hold in someone’s life when done poorly or not at all.

Anyone who feels they haven’t been listened to can give testimony to this. Those who haven’t been heard by others – especially those close to them – feel they have been invalidated, that their thoughts have no real worth, that their presence in others’ lives really doesn’t matter, that their troubles are inconsequential, and their goals lacking.

To be a good listener you need an inner strength and confidence to not need to prove yourself with wise declarations, witty statements, or surface level sympathy. An effective listener does not need to make their presence known other than to let the one who needs to be heard know that they are open to receive, to welcome, and accept what one has to say. The good listener does not need to fill the silence with platitudes or hear their own voice. The good listener can and must simply share the silence and let the silence speak.

The late theologian, Henry Nouwen, describes the act of listening as spiritual hospitality.

“Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves. Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you.”

We live in a time when much of life is virtual, contrived, distant, and produced. Is it any wonder that our world has become fractured? Fault lines that were undetectable in the past now threaten to break open as our foundations of mutuality and trust are weakened by uncertainty and misunderstanding.

But I have hope.  I think we all long for community and healing, authenticity and forgiveness, life in the midst of death, peace between peoples, and fulfillment amid challenges. We all long to understand and be understood. And it all starts with listening.

Having experienced the healing power of being heard, I am intent on becoming a better listening presence in the lives of others. I think the world needs more listeners and fewer platformers. Listeners who are willing to engage in an exchange from the deepest level of our humanity. Perhaps if we really listened, we might all feel more at home with others and ourselves, comforted and encouraged by the grace and peace of authentic relationship.

Listen and you just might hear the melody of a new day and new way dawning.

Let your light so shine!

March 3 (aka the day after March 2)

/ erikamorck / 7 Comments

Yesterday was my birthday. I don’t usually celebrate my birthday. I’m not one for parties and am uncomfortable being feted. It’s just me and the dog at home and the best part about that is every day is a birthday party for him!!! I’m his end all and be all unless he spots a squirrel. He is a good reminder that I matter when the days and nights all blur together into a dense fog. And so, as the day dawned – I gave thanks for waking up yet again and went about my day. I worked out, walked the dog, shoveled snow – yet again – and raced to work and worked all day straight through. I did not feel celebratory at all but others did and they remembered me and I am humbled by their blessings of words and gifts of love.

Those mighty words remind me how blessed I am to have crossed paths with, done the good and hard parts of life with, and made it through every day with some really wonderful people! No wonder it is hard to believe I am 52 – time flies when you are in the company of good friends and loving family.

My 51st year was a transformational one for me in mind, body – especially body- and spirit. I feel 10 years younger than I did at this time last year – thanks to a wonderful surgeon and the support of a great PT and love from friends and family seeing me through a major life event!! I feel so much freer now – free from pain and free from so many oppressive, life and light suppressing thoughts. I did the hard work – physically and mentally – for the last year to get to this point. What started out as one of my most miserable years – in recent history at least – ended with fun and a peace in my heart I have honestly never known.

I have to admit to being a bit teary eyed as I went to bed last night. But then, no one who knows me well is surprised by that!! I was thinking about all that transpired in this last year and how much has changed inside of me. It is daunting and exciting to think about what could be next! Year 52 – I am ready for you!!!

What a journey we are ALL on. Never knowing what tomorrow will bring – but still keeping on – knowing that we share the journey – each one uniquely our own – and yet traveling as one under this great big sky and God of ours! Life isn’t easy but it is so worthwhile! Every day is a new opportunity to launch anew, breathe in a fresh start, let go, and to be and to receive a blessing or two. So, here’s to another 18,980 days to do just that!!! I hope you will join me!

Let your light so shine!

The Wind Blows Where It Wishes

/ erikamorck / 2 Comments

A Memorial Sermon for my uncle, Chuck Morck

based on John 3:1-16

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”   Most of us know this beloved verse in the Gospel of John by heart but many may not be familiar with the full context of this Gospel passage. The full passage with the back and forth between Nicodemus and Jesus reminded me of conversations with Chuck – not all of them mind you – but definitely the ones that stick with me. Especially the words…

“The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit.” (John 3:8)

The wind blows where it wishes… Sounds just like something Chuck would say while philosophizing. Furthermore, Nicodemus reminds me of Uncle Chuck. You see, Nicodemus was a Pharisee, a ruler of the Jews. Not just a ruler – but a highly esteemed ruler of a group who were often at the brunt of Jesus’ most critical denunciations for their hypocrisy.  And yet, Nicodemus was a different sort. Nicodemus would take a stance opposite those prosecuting Jesus later in the Gospel. Like the wind, blowing where it wishes, Nicodemus took a contrary view believing that Jesus was the Messiah, sent from God. He was a biblical contrarian of the purest sort. 

Chuck fancied himself a contrarian. It was one of his favorite ways of describing himself.  He made his “riches” buying stocks that were falling when most investors were selling. Bad news in the market was “good news” for Chuck. He enjoyed disagreeing with people and expressing opinions that were – different. He delighted in a good debate. For the most part – the only time I recall Chuck chuckling was when he went against the grain in a conversation. He had a knack for telling it like it is from the “fact” that he hated my mom’s cooked carrots to the other “fact” that I needed to put on some weight. Sometimes this knack rubbed people wrong and may or may not have contributed to his mostly solitary life. That doesn’t mean he didn’t have a social life. I had the good fortune of working with a former sales colleague and very good friend of Chuck – who filled me in on his exploits as a much-desired catch in their social circle.  Sure, he was an odd duck – but a good man, he told me; disagreeable by definition, cantankerous for sure – but a truly good man. 

Like the wind that blows where it wishes, Chuck lived his life his own way. Perhaps he had to – being the youngest of four brothers.  The wind took him in different directions and supplied him with stories for a lifetime. He would become a king of the road and a master of investing – and an expert on all matters of frugality and simplicity. He truly was a self-made opinionated solitary man. 

He also loved to play tennis – embodying the back and forth of a good debate on the tennis court. He was a deep thinker and would surprise you out of the blue with remarkably intelligent insight on all sorts of matters: economics, horse racing, philosophy, politics, religion and even romance. He was a wealth of career advice and was thrilled when I began working for a financial advisor! Along with politics and market news, we would have deep conversations about religion – often leaving me frustrated in my earnest faith with his conviction that “they” – meaning pew-sitters – were all a bunch of hypocrites.” And yet – he never shut me down. Much like the Pharisees of Jesus day – he peppered me with questions I couldn’t find words to answer – and so we left them hanging for both of us to ponder.

In his last days, I longed for a final conversation – but that just wasn’t possible. I wrestled with the thoughts that Chuck was not “right with God” at least by my definition. I prayed that he knew that this life wasn’t it – that so much more awaited him. And so, I admit to crying tears of joy and yes relief, when his hospice Chaplain Dana relayed to me one of their last conversations. She had inquired as to his spiritual state, where he was in terms of his journey and if he believed in God. Chuck thought a moment, and then with great confidence said “I am a Christian.” and then they prayed together. 

Jesus said, “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it” (Matthew 7:13-14). Most people take the road that is well-traveled and that road, Jesus said, leads to destruction. It leads away from meaningful and eternal life. Few people take the road that is less traveled, the road that Jesus said, leads to meaningful and eternal life. The Christian way is by its very nature contrarian. 

Baptized by the Spirit at birth, Chuck took the path less traveled.  I can’t help but think now, that those sometimes-frustrating faith debates with Chuck were divinely inspired. Chuck made me think differently about the church and my faith – he made me question, wonder about, and hold less firmly to ideas that were of the church but as I read the Bible with clearer eyes – not of God. 

In His sermon on the mount, better known as Beatitudes, Jesus said that his followers are blessed when they are poor, when they are hungry, when they weep, and when they are reviled and persecuted because in God’s future they will inherit the kingdom, they will be filled, they will laugh, and their reward will be great in heaven. Jesus also said that those who were rich and full and lived to be well-spoken of did not have much to look forward to in the future. In other words – all those hypocritical pew-sitters Chuck waved his hand at may have some re-thinking to do. The way of Jesus is very much a contrarian way to live.

Much of Chuck’s outlook on life was contrary to my way of thinking – and yet as I think on much of what he said over and over again – never mind his temperament when saying it – it reflects the way Jesus would have us live. That Chuck chose to live alone rather than in community should not negate the depth of insight he had on the ways of the world. 

“The wind blows where it wishes…

It’s easy when you are different, solitary, independent, contrary – to get blown in the wind – to feel unknown or cast away by the world, by others, or lost to oneself. I imagine there were times like that for Chuck. I imagine there are times when you feel that way too. But no matter how buffeted by the wind, no matter how far we drift, no matter how alone we may walk – there is One in this life and world to whom we are never lost, from whom we can never become unmoored or cast away. We are never left behind or cast away by Christ.

In Christ everyone, every single person, is loved, called by name, and claimed as a beloved child. Jesus is the one for whom our differences make no difference. “I will never drive away anyone who comes to me,” Jesus says. Not anyone, not Chuck, not you, not me. There is not enough difference in the world to keep us apart from the love of Christ.

“(N)either death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:37-39)

Chuck’s contrarian ways in this life and world and his firm conviction of faith in death, show us that no matter how different we are, how much we question or profess to be ambivalent to, or refuse to be a pew-sitter for – nothing can separate us from the love of God. He is the witness that in Christ our differences make no difference and that we are never truly or finally lost. The promises of today’s gospel (John 3:1-16) have been fulfilled in and through Chuck’s life, and they are being fulfilled in your life and mine. All shall be well. 

God wastes nothing of God’s creation. I no longer wonder about the meaning of the times I spent with Uncle Chuck, the conversations we had and the questions he gave me about life. I no longer wonder what his life might have taught me about mine. I am willing to bet he taught you something about yourself and your life as well. Maybe he encouraged you to enlarge your life, gave you something to think about that hadn’t crossed your mind before. Maybe he encouraged you in your own independence. Maybe he was generous to you in a way you weren’t expecting.  Maybe he gave you the opportunity to care about and help him – giving you the gift of giving sacrificial love. Maybe there was a word, an eye twinkle, a shared moment that you will forever cherish that connected with your heart and left you feeling not so different after all.

None of that ends simply because he is not sitting here with us in his lazy-boy. Those things are just as real and present today as they were when they happened – maybe even more so. Life has changed, not ended. So, I will listen to his life – for what he might still have to say to me. Maybe you will as well.

Yes, the wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit – So it is with Chuck.   For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

 Let it be so. – Amen.