Missing You, Dad

It’s easy to honor you this Father’s Day, Dad. Every day that I am alive, I live because you believed in me along the way… even when you had every reason not to.  Not a day has gone by the last two months that I have not thought about you, wanted to ask you a question, and hear your voice. I am afraid that one day I will not remember what you sound like, but today I can still hear your “Well heLLOOO there” whenever I called. If only I hadn’t erased that last message you left on my phone when you were still able to call me but, I didn’t know ….

I think you would be rather proud of me of late. The last two months have been quite a whirl wind and I have stayed upright – even without a toothpick anchoring me! I presided over worship and I decided to put down some roots and buy a house – all by myself and all in the same week! You would definitely approve of the yard but might think the master bathroom is a little pretentious. I know you would say it was the size of your and Mom’s first house in Dillon! Frankly, it is beyond me what I will do with all that vanity! On the bright side, I will have plenty of yardwork to keep me busy and a view that will last forever. You always said a view was more important than the house… the house could be changed; the view couldn’t be. Well, I think you will approve – granted it is an endless view of mountains not prairies, but I think I can win you over. I wish I could share my happiness of home and heart with you.

4 years ago, I would never have dreamed of calling western Montana home.  4 years ago, at this time, you were telling me that life still had much in store for me after I turned down the job offer in Whitefish because I couldn’t find a place to live in that I could afford. Just a few weeks later, you were giving me your blessing to do what I needed to do to make it happen, as long as I didn’t lose sight of my independence and my values. I never dreamed my life would become what it has, but I think you had an inkling. I felt like you really believed in me and wanted this challenge for me.

Thank you for raising me to be strong in faith, humble in mind, and trusting at heart.

Thank you for teaching me that it is okay and sometimes better to be alone, but that people really do make life richer.

Thank you for loving me through the struggles of finding my wings and learning to fly. And thank you for letting me know that you are here with me from time to time. I love you, Dad and miss you so very much.

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