March 2014 ~ Birthday Reflections

11037654_953755714649027_4515885121722983838_o“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

There were certainly many things I thought I would be by the time I reached the regal age of 44….

As a 5 year old I was pretty sure I was going to be a pastor…oh how before my time I was!!

As a 10 year old, I thought I would be old.

As a 15 year old I envisioned myself happily married and the mother of 4 boys : Will, Peter, Grant, and Thor…..

As an 18 year old I was pretty sure I would be wrapping up my stint as the longest serving White House Press Secretary and probably NOT a mother of 4 boys…

As a 23 year old, I wasn’t sure I would make it to 24 let alone 44…

As a 30 year old I started dreaming again but had all the time in the world to make those dreams happen and 44 seemed awfully far away…

As a 35 year old I was in wonder at my wisdom as a 5 year old and giving serious thought to becoming a pastor, then decided it wouldn’t be prudent to just be getting settled somewhere at 44… (ha!)

As a 40 year old, I was certain I would be a homeowner near the western edge of Billings, serving another term on the church council, with a serious case of wanderlust and an adorable dog to keep me company….

As a 41 year old, I didn’t know what a week from now would hold for me let alone 3 yrs down the road.

As a 43 year old, with my 44th birthday dawning within hours, I don’t have to wonder what I will be when my day on the calendar is celebrated…. What I am is far less important than who I am and who I continue to become.

Who I am is a woman still full of dreams and laughter, too young to have kids of her own but happy to play with yours. I am a woman who tries to be courageous and strong in her daily walk in life but is shadowed by doubt. I am a woman filled with hope and the knowledge that every day is a gift from God and a chance to start anew.

I am woman who loves her life and WILL continue to change and grow for the better.

Who I am is a surprisingly adventurous woman who wants nothing more than to savor every breath of peace she finds wandering in the mountains. A woman who has no idea what her future holds but knows that God has been shaping her for some purpose greater than she can understand right now.

I am a woman who loves her independence but doesn’t want to be alone in the journey. I am a woman who loves deeply, cherishes friendship, and desires community. I am a woman who prays she shines the light of her Lord into the lives of those she encounters and leaves them with a smile on their face and peace in their heart. 

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” ~Matthew 5:16